


Popsicle

by alyse



Category: MegaShark vs Giant Octopus
Genre: Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-05
Updated: 2011-05-05
Packaged: 2017-10-19 02:59:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyse/pseuds/alyse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"Together we shall plumb the depths of the deepest ocean trenches, my darling."</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Popsicle

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/moonlettuce/profile)[**moonlettuce**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/moonlettuce/) and I have this theory about the origins of a certain other Asylum/SyFy creature. This fic explains that theory. Sort of. Many thanks to [](http://aithine.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**aithine**](http://aithine.dreamwidth.org/) for beta duties.

**Title:** Popsicle  
 **Author:** alyse  
 **Fandom:** MegaShark vs Giant Octopus  
 **Pairing:** MegaShark/Giant Octopus  
 **Rating:** PG13  
 **Warnings:** Dubious consent, possibly? If you squint?  
 **Spoilers:** Pretty much spoils the entire movie. Kind of.  
 **Challenge:** Written for [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/mmom/profile)[**mmom**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/mmom/) /[](http://mmom.dreamwidth.org/profile)[ **mmom**](http://mmom.dreamwidth.org/)  
 **Status:** Complete, one shot  
 **Word Count:** ~1,000  
 **Disclaimer:** MegaShark vs Giant Octopus belongs to Asylum Pictures, bless their twisted little minds.  


-o-

It isn't love at first sight. It isn't even close to it. Not a meeting of minds, but a meeting of bodies, slamming into each other with fierce, ferocious force.

Giant Octopus is the one to escalate things, of course. Typical male, really; more tentacles than... well, actually, simply larger tentacles than the average octopus, and MegaShark has no patience with his antics, not at first. Not when he's all grabby suckers and "Do you want to come back and see my prehistoric pad?"

She bites off the end of one too forward tentacle and sends him on his way with a flick of her tail and a sea mite in his ear.

He's persistent though, she'll give him that. Normally the sight of her teeth - which is the last thing most creatures that she encounters ever see - is enough to deter even the most determined of suitors. But not Giant Octopus. She's heard that octopi, whether giant or not, are supposed to be smart, but you'd never know it to look at him. He pursues her from one end of the planet to the other, showing up in the oddest of places with bunches of giant kelp clutched in one avid tentacle and the worst chat up lines she's ever heard.

 _"Together we shall plumb the depths of the deepest ocean trenches, my darling."_

Really? And they say that corn hasn't even evolved yet.

Still, she's got to admit that the tentacle thing intrigues her, just a little bit. And after a few 'close encounters' that aren't quite as close as Giant Octopus seemed to be hoping for, she finally takes pity on him and lets him cop a feel. He pushes it, of course - they always do - and eventually she gives way enough to let him get one slippery little tentacle inside her oviduct. Just the one - she's not a cartilaginous slut, no matter what the ocean gossip mongers say - but... well, it turns out that it's not quite as little as she was expecting and those suckers on its surface are quite **something** when they're caressing the smooth walls inside her.

She comes like **gangbusters**. Pretty much to the point where continental shelves are shifting and new continents are rising and lava is flowing and all that crap. Her thrashing about in the throes of pleasure even sets off a small tidal wave.

It's a good job she doesn't have many close friends - big teeth, large appetite and the ability to out swim most things tends to put the damper on her social life - because she'd never hear the end of it.

On the other hand, if they manage to keep it all on the down low (because she'll never hear the end of it if her mother finds out that she's dating an **octopus** , and frankly he's a bit embarrassing with his limp, wet handshakes and googly eyes - she's always gone for real sharks before) she wouldn't mind repeating the experience. Quite a few times, actually.

So that's how they become a thing, she and Giant Octopus, even if she fends off most of his attempts to take their relationship 'to the next level'. She's not stupid - she's well aware of what he's talking about, and while she's quite happy to fool around a little, as long as they stick to him sticking his tentacles inside her thank you very much, she's not interested in anything more. It's not her fault that he doesn't trust her enough to risk a blow job.

Honestly. You bite the end off one measly tentacle - and not even all of it - and all of a sudden you can't be trusted around any other protruding organs.

But he's persistent, and persuasive. "Trust me," he burbles. "We're completely incompatible species. We're not even in the same family, never mind same genus. Don't worry. Nothing can happen."

That's her first mistake, listening to him. Her second is **listening** to him. He suggests a nice, romantic getaway to the Arctic Circle, extolling the beauty of the ice floes in the moonlight and saying how the frozen green seas will bring out the colour of her fins.

She should have known better than to trust **him** , but the moonlight is beautiful and the next thing she knows is that the tentacle he slips inside her this time is bigger, thicker, and she's coming so hard that she doesn't even realise that it's not a normal tentacle he's stuck inside her until later - much, **much** later.

Apparently she comes so hard that she brings a glacier down on top of them and they spend the next several million years frozen solid and locked in a torrid embrace.

(If the rest of her species hadn't already been extinct by the time they finally defrost, she'd just **die** of embarrassment.)

When they're no longer prehistoric popsicles, the bastard slopes off without even a word, his tentacles firmly between his... tentacles.

She's fine with that. She doesn't need him. In fact, she's pissed at him, and that always leaves her ravenous. So hungry, in fact, that she ends up eating anything that moves. And she has this weird craving for the soft squishy things inside the metal things she's found, the ones that float or fly, that it's not until she's grabbed one of the bloody things straight out of the sky and eaten it whole - without peeling it first, for crying out loud - that she realises that Giant Octopus has left her with a little parting gift.*

Giant Octopus probably thinks that she's chasing him all over the planet to kick his tentacled ass. She is, but she also wants some bloody **child support**!

The end

* And, lo, was Sharktopus brought into being.


End file.
